By Doug Strickel
When you were a child, what did you fear? Was it a fear of the dark, nighttime sounds, or terrible tales as a child? These worries may have evolved into a dread of being rejected, embarrassed, or falling short of expectations as you grew older.
It was a dread of failure for me. I suffered from an unhealthy performance-based identity and was always afraid of failing, disappointing teammates, or falling short of my own standards. I don’t recall many of my childhood anxieties, but I do recall my teenage fear of failing.
What fears do you have today? Many people are afraid of things related to their health, finances, and career goals. Some people claim to be afraid of heights, flying, or public speaking. As we age, some people may claim to be afraid of dying. There are numerous factors in our lives that can make us feel afraid.
If we looked closely enough, we would see that a lot of these worries stem from uncertainty. Although life is full of uncertainty, our concerns would probably lessen if we knew how things would work out.
How does one handle fear, then? How do we cope with the anxieties of an uncertain future as well as the anxieties we carried from our adolescence that persisted (remember the rejection, embarrassment, etc. I stated above)?
First of all, simply working harder isn’t enough. Although there are times in life when we really need to work harder and strive harder, addressing genuine fear is probably not one of those times. If if things were that simple, but it’s not.
I would recommend the idea of replacement as a way to deal with fear. Put something more powerful in place of the fear!
- Faith: replace fear associated with an uncertain future with faith. My faith in a loving God that controls eternity enables me to overcome fear rooted in earthly concerns.
- Love: replace fear focused on self-preservation and acceptance with love for others. 1 John 4:18 says, Perfect love casts out all fear .
- Purpose: replace fear of failure with a commitment to pursue a meaningful purpose that overrides the fear of a temporary setback.
- Hope: replace fear driven by negative thoughts with a mindset change to gratitude. Gratitude will direct one to positivity and away from negativity and fear.
During the La Tech commencement ceremonies a few weeks ago, I was asked if I was afraid to speak in front of a packed arena. “No” was the response. I didn’t consider it to be a performance. I prayed fervently and worked hard to create a message of hope and encouragement. My mission to make a difference took control!
Many of us are dealing with serious problems and anxieties that have the potential to change our lives. Fear has the power to paralyze us. Fear has the power to rob life of its joy. Relationships can be impacted by fear.
Which anxieties are affecting your life right now? Are you able to begin replacing them? Overcoming those anxieties doesn’t require more effort. Let’s concentrate on getting rid of those anxieties and getting back the kind of life you want!
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